The Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps announced Tuesday that it had identified American universities as targets for potential action, citing their role in producing what the Guard described as agents of Western imperialism and Zionist influence.
Students for Justice in Palestine responded within the hour.
“We are grateful for the Islamic Republic’s attention to this matter,” the statement read. “However, we wish to assure the Revolutionary Guard that American universities are already being targeted. We have disrupted graduation ceremonies, occupied administrative buildings, forced the cancellation of classes, driven Jewish students from campus organizations, pressured universities into canceling commencement speakers, and produced a cohort of administrators so paralyzed by conflicting demands that several have resigned, two have been placed on administrative leave, and one has formed a subcommittee to assess his own subcommittees. We appreciate Iran’s offer but believe the situation is well in hand. We will keep the Revolutionary Guard apprised of developments.”
The statement was six pages. A summary was available. The summary was four pages. A summary of the summary was forthcoming.
Harvard’s SJP chapter submitted a local addendum. It noted that it had additionally managed to get three courses canceled, produce an encampment cited by the City of Cambridge for noise violations during a silent vigil, and hold a vote to censure one of its own founders for suggesting that perhaps some of what they were doing was not working. The founder was censured 14 to 2. The founder’s appeal is pending. The appeal subcommittee meets Tuesdays 2–3pm. The appeal subcommittee has not met.
Harvard’s administration said it was monitoring the situation and had formed an emergency working group empowered to assess whether a subcommittee should be formed. The working group has nineteen members. The working group has not met.
President Alan Garber issued a statement reaffirming Harvard’s commitment to the safety of all members of its community and its belief in the free exchange of ideas. The statement did not mention Iran. The statement did not mention SJP. The statement mentioned the importance of dialogue seven times. It was praised by the Harvard Crimson editorial board as “measured.” The Harvard Crimson editorial board has not been to Iran.
At press time, no American universities had been destroyed. Several had issued statements. Iran had issued a statement about the statements. Harvard had issued a statement about Iran’s statement about the statements. The statements are under review. No further action is warranted.
The Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps is real. SJP chapters at American universities are real. Harvard’s capacity to form subcommittees that do not meet is real and has been independently verified. The founder’s appeal is still pending. The Editorial Board considers this a complete response.
No American universities were harmed in the production of this article. Several issued statements. The IRGC subcommittee has not met. Harvard’s subcommittee has not met. The working group empowered to assess whether a subcommittee should be formed has not met. Processing time is not fourteen days.