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Administration Spring 2026
Administration  ·  Narrative Management

Harvard Earns Second Consecutive C in ADL Antisemitism Report Card, Hails “Remarkable Consistency”

The Office of Strategic Narrative Management praised the University’s commitment to sustained performance in the face of a national trend toward improvement. Fifty-eight percent of peer institutions improved. Harvard consolidated its C.
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About This Story

The ADL Report Card is real. The grades are real. The Office of Strategic Narrative Management was unavailable for comment on its own availability.

Administration  ·  Institutional Finance  ·  Strategic Fundraising

Harvard Launches Car Wash and Swimsuit Calendar to Address $2.2 Billion Federal Funding Gap

The initiative consists of a swimsuit calendar featuring the University’s senior deans and a car wash conducted by the fellows of the Harvard Corporation in the Yard. Total raised to date: $345. The University is optimistic.
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About This Story

The $2.2 billion funding freeze is real. The $53 billion endowment is real. The fellow in the wetsuit is a reconstruction. At $345 per Saturday, closing the funding gap would take approximately 12,173 years.

Administration  ·  Institutional Accountability

Harvard Finds No Further Action Warranted, Twice

A Jewish student complained that antisemitic t-shirts were assigned as a sustainability exercise. Harvard determined no further action was warranted. Twice.
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About This Story

The exhibits are real. One complaint and one complainant are real. The administration’s non-response is real. The reader is invited to determine which.